SOFTENING OUR SELF-TALK, ENHANCING OUR EARTH-WALK
Creating What We Desire in the New Year, Starts with Our Words
2025 signals the beginning of a new chapter. It’s a time when we can begin again, to envision and talk about how we might create a higher level of personal health and a greater sense of planetary well-being.
Envisioning how we want to look and feel, and envisioning how we want the earth to look and function, is about remembering first and foremost, that THE WORDS we say to ourselves (about ourselves and the Earth) have immense power. We can use our words to uplift and empower us, or we can use them to bring us down and feel disempowered. To borrow a phrase by English poet John Milton, “'The mind can make a heaven out of hell, or a hell out of heaven.”
Coming to Terms with the Negative, Non-Useful Thoughts that
We All Think Each Day
Just as learning “why” to cook is equally if not more important than knowing “how” to cook” (“why” relates to using food to transform ourselves and the planet) --learning “why” to care for our bodies is equally if not more important than “how” to care for them. “How” relates to learning techniques that tone the obliques, whereas “why” relates to creating the stamina to live fully.
I recently read that the average woman has 13 negative thoughts about her body daily, --one for nearly every hour she is awake. Needless to say, the voice of a woman’s inner critic is destructive. It robs energy from her mind and body that could be used for a better purpose.
While I couldn’t find a statistic quantifying the number of negative thoughts men have about their bodies in a single day, I did find research to suggest that people have around 60,000 thoughts per day, with about 75% or 45,000 of these thoughts being repetitive. However, the exact percentage of negative thoughts varies. Some sources suggest that up to 80% of thoughts can be negative, while others indicate that around 70% of spontaneous thoughts are negative.
Negative thinking, it goes without saying reflects the power of one’s mindset and perspective to succumb to negativity and despair. Unfortunately, despair can easily lead to health issues such as insomnia, digestive issues, weight gain, and lowered immunity, to name only a few unwanted conditions.
Quelling the Voice of Your Inner “Body Critic” in 2025
Do you want to be more mindful of how you communicate with the person who matters most: YOU?! If so, I offer 3 simple ways to quell the voice of your inner body critic and practice talking nicer to yourself.
1. Ask yourself, “Would I say this to a friend?”
Think about it. You’d never tell your bestie or a family member you love, “Wow, your butt looks big in those jeans,” or “It looks like your face has some new wrinkles on it.” It sounds critical and unforgiving. Yet we say these things to ourselves all the time. The messages have an insidious way of eroding our self-confidence and preoccupying our minds with superficial concerns rather than speaking to matters of the heart.
The next time you catch yourself thinking something unkind — whether you're trying on clothes or revisiting pictures of yourself from an earlier era, pause and ask yourself the question: If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, why would you say it to yourself? Instead, try a more reassuring comment like: “Stress has caught up with me, and even though I don’t love the way I look right now, I must remember that I’m not my physical body alone” OR “My reflection in the mirror is motivating me to clean up my diet, start eating whole foods, and juicing fruits and vegetables.”
This simple shift (which does NOT involve beating yourself up mentally and emotionally) can help you cultivate a kinder relationship with yourself. And at the end of the day, don’t you deserve the same love and compassion you might lend to others?
2. Appreciate your body for what it DOES rather than how it LOOKS
It’s easy to zero in on what we wish we could change about our bodies. Truth be told, I’m so self-conscious about my small breasts, I hardly ever take my bra off. Though it probably sounds like a silly, ridiculous, or vain concern to have, my physical inhibition stems from a wound that dates back to the time I was growing inside my mother’s womb. Before getting pregnant with me, my mom handled toxic chemicals at her job. (These persist in the body and are passed on to unborn babies.) My mom also conceived me about a month after her first child (my brother) was born. Somehow, this sequence of her choices led to the dysregulation of hormones in my developing body. Although my feminine identity took a hit, I’m grateful that my “deficiency” never interfered with my ability to attract a partner or to breastfeed my child after he was born. (That was a three-year-long bonding experience that I’ll treasure forever.)
As I’ve aged, I’ve lost some muscle mass in my arms and legs. Though this distresses me sometimes, I’m grateful that I can still use my arms to hug trees and loved ones, schlep heavy grocery bags, and cook meals for my family and friends. As for my legs, I can still rely on them to dance, hike, ride a bike, do leg lifts on my exercise bench, and carry myself to the places I need to go each day. While at age 69, I sometimes feel the pressure that society has placed on me (and all women) to look flawless, I haven’t succumbed to getting Botox or going under the knife. The prospect of aging gracefully I've decided, is an “inside job.” It involves eating well, pampering myself occasionally, and most importantly, nurturing a conscious connection to spirit.
3. Get in Touch with what YOU Love about YOUR Body
I have a little challenge for you to meet in 2025: Get yourself a small notebook from the Dollar Store, or find a little journal to write in. Whenever you look in the mirror, jot down the things you DO like about your body. Maybe it’s your legs and hips after they've had a workout on the ski slope or the salsa dance floor Maybe it’s your skin after you've spent time in the sunshine and you've gotten your glow on. Or maybe it’s your hands after they've massaged someone or they've created an amazing wall painting. At first, your list of “likes” might feel small, and that’s to be expected. This exercise is like building a muscle — the more you practice noticing the good, the easier it becomes.
Quelling the Voice of Your Inner “Earth Critic” in 2025
Do you want to be more mindful of how you communicate with the earth, the terrestrial body that, in essence, holds you (like a mother would) in its orbit and provides a way for you to experience a meaningful co-existence with all living things? Does the idea of “talking nice” to the Earth sound abstract since it doesn’t have ears, or use words to speak? If you feel this way, you’re not alone. But what might be missing from your understanding is that you and the earth are always communicating via an exchange of energy. You are either exchanging positive, life-sustaining energy or negative life-depleting energy.
Food for Thought: What kind of energy do you exchange with the earth (and how do you communicate with it) when, as a consumer, you participate in a lifestyle production system that allows tons of toxic chemicals to be dumped into the environment? What kind of energy does the earth exchange with you in return (and how does it communicate with you) when the air you breathe, and the water you drink become toxic, and when the soil upon which you walk, becomes too arid, dry, and toxic, to produce sustenance?
Are you ready to make cleaner, greener, eco-conscious lifestyle choices, so that you can exchange more positive energy with the earth, and it can exchange more positive energy with you in return? If so, here are some tips that I hope might inspire you.
1. Ask yourself, “Would I treat a friend this way?”
The next time you catch yourself thinking something negative about the Earth (in essence, your lifelong companion) such as: “I see nothing but environmental degradation when I look at the Earth” or “Global warming is (and will continue to) make the Earth uninhabitable", pause and ask yourself this question: “If I wouldn’t give up on a person or a group that I love dearly during their greatest hour of need, why would I give up on the Earth itself, which has sustained the lives of people and living things for billions of years?”
2. Appreciate the Earth for what it DOES rather than how it LOOKS
It’s easy to focus on all the negative events that are taking place in the world. Yes, the ice caps are melting, the rainforests are being burned to the ground, and species are dying at unprecedented rates. It’s also true that problems like poverty, homelessness, and senseless acts of war, violence, and crime have become the new norm. Though it is not a pretty picture at present, we do have the option of reframing how we view this scenario. And when we do, we can begin to fathom a new and better picture of reality.
Like astronauts who have an awe-inspiring view of the planet while hovering above it in their spacecraft, we can use our imaginations (the most God-like part of us, in my thinking…) to view the earth from a higher perspective. A perspective that inspires us to feel a deep appreciation for its magnificence and its fragility. A perspective that invites a deeper emotional connection to the planet, and unifies us with all its inhabitants.
Get in Touch with what You Love about the Earth
I have another challenge for you to meet in 2025: Use your journal to pen some things you love about the earth. During this time of upheaval on the Earth, I believe it’s vitally important for us to get in touch with what we love about the Earth because we can't restore or heal what we don’t love, respect, and honor.
In this exercise, pretend that the earth is a mirror that reflects your relationship with it. Are your eyes struck by the beauty of what you see? Do the plants, animals, insects, and ecosystems in your mind's eye make you more “other-aware” or more “self-aware?” Do the mountains you envision climbing, encourage you to reach your loftiest goals? Do rivers, lakes, and oceans you envision swimming in, remind you to “go with the flow” or “plumb the depths” of life’s mysteries? Do the flowers you observe help you to remember that life unfolds moment by moment, in the most breathtakingly beautiful ways, --and that because those moments are delicate and fleeting, they deserve to be celebrated?
How do you see people in the reflection of your “earth mirror?” Do you relate to the people who “look different from you” as multi-dimensional, kaleidoscopic aspects of yourself and your humanity? And if so, do you feel they stimulate transformative changes in you, your self-concept, or your value system? Do you see your ancestors, spirit guides, or angels in the reflection of your “earth mirror”? If so, do you feel they are offering you protection and guidance? Do you see advanced interplanetary civilizations in your mirror's reflection? If so, do you imagine they might one day play a role in helping humanity? What you see, offers to be instructive. Use what you view "in a positive light", to improve your self-talk and enhance your earth-walk!
As we step into 2025, let’s hold onto this: The way we speak to ourselves and how we treat the earth is so connected. When we show ourselves kindness, we also give the world around us a chance to heal. Every kind
word you say to yourself, every small choice you make for the earth, matters. It all adds up.
This isn’t about getting everything right or fixing it all overnight. It’s about trying, and ultimately trusting that “the seeds of our actions matter.” It’s about showing up every day with love in your heart—for yourself, for others, and for this beautiful planet we all share. Can you imagine the ripple effect of that? The hope it could spark?
We’re in this together. The small, tender steps we take—choosing to talk to ourselves with care, and making choices that honor the earth—are what build something bigger. Something brighter.
Thank you for being here, for caring, and for believing in a better world. It means so much. Let’s step into this year full of hope, knowing we’re walking this path together.
🌍💛
Did your mind or heart resonate with the message in this newsletter/blog? If so, hit reply to this mail, and say “hello” to me! It helps to know that I am not alone on this learning and mentoring journey. 😊
Candia Lea Cole
Founder, Eco-Learning Legacies
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